Hi friend, I'm glad your still here. I'm so glad you are still checking in. Come back and join me again, please. I am just going to give you my $.02 , you can tell me to shut up if you want to. Here goes. You said you got sober in hopes of bettering the relationship with your daughter. She sounds like she has her own issues. You can not change her or make her want to come back. I pray for you she will. You do this for YOU!! Come on my friend, I believe you deserve a lovely life. I believe it is waiting for us. Drinking only makes it go away for a tiny bit, it always comes roaring back worse than ever. Stuffing or numbing feelings only makes them take on a vicious life of their own. They can enslave us. It always reminds me of a time I was pulled too far in the ocean, being tossed about and held under by rough waves. I thought I was going to drown. I kept fighting and couldn't seem to find the surface. If I managed to surface, I got a mouthful of water and then got slammed on the bottom again and again. It is how I feel when I am struggling really bad to this day. I always remember that fight for what felt like my life. In the midst of it I realized fighting wasn't working and decided to relax. I felt the fury of the wave slam me again and summersalt me around. I eventually began to float much more peacefully and my face broke the surface for a beautiful breath of air. By relaxing and surrendering, the waves rolled over and crashed on shore. Now when bad feelings, anxiety, or memories come roaring at me, I know if I don't panic, just surrender, they will wash over me and through me, not drown me. I'm here for you my wildflower friend,
Violets