Originally Posted by
Anarock 
I feel like I’m always in the same position and not getting anywhere.
I’ve been going to some meetings, even a new one I like a lot.
I start with a new counselling program in January.
I’ve been going to the gym.
But I still can’t stop drinking.
I want to stop so bad. I’m sick of lying, embarrassing myself and just overall feeling like a failure.
Why is it so hard?
I totally understand what you're saying, Anarock... I was scared of a life w/o alcohol. Seemed impossible to me. I was also terrified of the withdrawals....shakes, DT'S, seizures, itching, and thinking "I've drank myself, again, to the point of severe withdrawals...now I have to go to the hospital"....but I had been to every hospital in my area so many times that the nurses, doctors, and even most of the ambulance EMT's know me by name.....so embarrassment became what kept me from going...so I felt my only option was to drink again just to stop the withdrawals....and so the cycle continued..... I got to the point that I was drinking mouthwash. Don't let it get that bad!!!! Seek help now !!! Are you at the point where you have bad withdrawals when you don't drink ??