MesaMan, I really appreciated all of your thoughts. Thank you truly for taking the time to write them out. I feel very lucky to have found this site and such a wonderful community of people willing to help each other out. Can I ask one more question...You mentioned living in the "SoberSphere". Does this sphere, to you, seem small, like a marginalized part of society? Or, just the opposite - like that's where everyone has been all along? I'm just curious.
I like the idea of the "toolkit" you mentioned also. I feel like I've picked up a lot of tools I didn't even know existed by visiting this site. By far the best thing I've stumbled upon is the concept of AVRT. I have had my depression/anxiety/OCD issues in the past, really all due to brain chemistry (this runs in my family). When I finally went on Prozac, I was rather quickly straightened out in just a few months after figuring out this new and improved brain . It turns out I had just needed to be medicated all along. Unfortunately, before I got this medication, I self-medicated with alcohol and built this addiction of mine. So, I really don't feel guilt about it, because I was just doing what I needed to survive. But...I don't want to just survive, I want to live and thrive, and that is only possible addiction free. Anyway, as I said, having had my OCD issues in the past, I know the mind is a powerful, powerful, POWERFUL thing. It can make you obsess and have compulsions, and yet, with the right mind control techniques, what you've obsessed over for years can be gone in mere moments if what needs to click actually clicks. I obsessed over something for years (it's too embarrassingly stupid to mention what), but the second it clicked to me that it was nuts, I so was over it. Done. Finito. I knew it was over right away and I almost cried with relief. My point: So, I believe that if I believe in AVRT, that this can make my brain "click" in the same way. I sure do hope.
Anyway, just some rambling thoughts. Thank you again. Everything helps.