Anonymas

Hi, my name is franz. I have been sober and not drinking alcohol for about 3 months. I Was a heavy drinker for 15 years and found solace in its escape from everyday problems at the end of the week. About 8 years ago I moved country and left my direct family behind for my wife whom is a wonderful person but incapable of understanding and advising me on this issue as she feels partly responsible and I don't want her feeling that way. When I moved here it was initially only for the holidays but she got pregnant and I would not leave my wife and child , now 8 years late we have 2 children and three from a previous marriage of hers. I am not a citizen in this country so out of fear of losing my family I do not work and have relinquished all my human freedoms such as being able to leave the house without my wife, drive a car and the only thing that kept me sane and entertained was the drinking after the kids were in bed and I had my time to take my mind off of things and how my life has just stopped. My wife recently got a new job that pays more so I was thinking we could get my visa sorted but that isn't happening, this coupled with the fact that I stopped drinking a few months back because my appendix was removed (another cause of fear) I just feel alone isolated and lost. I have picked up a few things like cryptocurrency investing with great success but without any money to play with I feel useles and my mind reverts back to drinking to numb the utter boredom I go through on a daily basis. I feel like I was better when I drank , like it helped with my current situation and helped with me not being so miserable I can't justify being sober whilst living this existence