We are all here for you Healthyandsober - you haven't thrown away 58 days, the experience you learned from them, is still there. I also know you won't believe that because neither did I last year
It's a tough time of the year from a lot of people but you've done it before and you can do it again.
I never in my wildest dreams, thought I'd be sitting here with 11 months notched up and I doubt anyone else did on SR as I'd slipped that many times, but it's very doable and I just know you can do it
Be kind to yourself - lots of water and just try and think what you'd say to your best friend in the same situation - because your real best friend is looking back at you from the mirror. She also has more strength than you think, because she's reaching out and posting. Well done for that