Break-up with a recovering addict... help?
Non addict here who had an ex girlfriend who is a recovering heroin addict. Was clean from Heroin from 14 months but was addicted to Suboxone. We’ve dated for about 7 months. I came into her life during a dark time. She just got out of an emotionally abusive relationship and I was everything he was not. Understanding, kind hearted and easy to talk to. Despite all of her baggage I saw a human being in her. Underneath that hard shell I saw an affectionate, overall good person in her and I wanted to help her get better.
Recently she made the decision to go to a rehab facility in Florida. We were both originally from New Jersey. I was so happy for her and proud of her. She needed help and she was finally getting it. We’ve kept in touch for about a month and early on she was certain she wanted to come home and work on bettering our relationship. As time went by however it seems like she’s had a change of heart. She told me she might actually stay in Florida and that it’s best if we just move on. We’re 1000 miles apart and we can’t stop each other from seeing other people.
Part of me completely understands. She really didn’t have anything good going for her at home. She seems happier down there then she’s ever been down at home. It’s probably for the best and I don’t want to do anything to prevent her from getting better for my own selfish reasons. Part of me however is also hurt, annoyed and frustrated. All of this hard work and dedication didn’t pay off. I’ve helped her with money, showered her with attention and affection, listened to her scary and albeit sad stories. This is the end result? If anything though I’m more frustrated at myself. Did I not do enough? Could I have done any better? Is it okay to be happy for her and frustrated at the same time?
What is this feeling? Why is it eating at me? Have any of you been through something similar? Part of me will always care about her. I hope she’s okay and is doing the right thing. I just don’t know what to do. I know I need to let go, I just don’t know where to start. Should I keep in contact with her but limit it? Or is this someone I should cut ties with for good and block them from my social media accounts and my phone?