Welcome back nigey1, I hope you find a solution this time around. My thoughts are that you need to find activities to fill the 'numb, raw' time that doesn't revolve around alcohol or drunks. There are some good threads on this and successes that folks have shared. I'm new to total abstinence and have hooked up with a sober friend I've known a long time and we are going to get outdoors more, fishing, golfing, etc. Good luck.