Just got back from a visit to stepdaughters. Did a little Christmas shopping and hanging out. She called in to see if she had to do a drug test and when she found out no drop she had me stop at a gas station. I thought for smokes but she came out with a bottle of ice tea and a pint of whiskey she pulled from her purse and mixed into the ice tea. Losing her kids and having her boyfriend die has had no real effect on her. She told me she is already checking out a new guy that she was communicating with before her BF died. In fact, the BF blocked this guy from her phone suspecting something. She is so selfish and unsympathetic now she is becoming sociopathic. She is crashing now at a fellow coworkers house who is struggling with alcohol. She said she had an episode at work where her brain stopped functioning, basically a blackout. I love this lost little girl so much but need to go no contact again before she destroys what's left of my sanity. I can't save her and can't change her even though it it what I want more than anything else in this world. Addiction is truly a curse to all those involved. My condolences to any that find themselves in my situation. My soul cries for us all.