Hi Shay. Stating the obvious here. You are a mess. But you are here and that's the first step. I do understand your multiple substance use issues. Been there and then some. In my old world alcohol, pot and benzos were a starter kit. Add coke and Quaaludes to the mix if you want to know where I played. Amazing I'm not dead.
I'm the resident Grinch/Scrooge compared to other folks here and I don't spout all of the positive kindness that many will here. Since I did not reply to spout hopeful kindness perhaps you wonder why I replied at all. Here's why. I have a constructive point here for you and I hope you find it helpful. Given the amount of alcohol you have constantly poured into your body over the last decade, the diagnosis of MCTD & fibromyalgia could be wrong. Alcohol is an incredibly damaging drug. It makes getting a correct diagnosis of these type of diseases very difficult. Without booze poisoning your body you might find that your symptoms diminish or even go away. It could take some time to see the results so don't expect great results at first. You still have a chance for a better life than you think possible but only if you stop poisoning yourself with alcohol and drugs. Why do I believe this is possible for you? Personal experience! The days of needing four Advil to get out of bed in the morning are history.
I do hope you grab on to the lifeline SR provides and pull with all your might to get out of your hole. Welcome and Bah humbug!