Awkward Kitty now might be a good time to go back and re read your post posts. Remind yourself of whats at stake here.
theres a lot of ideas on dealing with cravings here:
https://www.soberrecovery.com/forums...ery-plans.html (Psst...wanna know why I'm always recommending recovery plans?)
I desperately wanted to be like everyone else too - but I wasn't and if I'm honest I never was I always drank to get wasted.
I hope, in time, you'll come to see an alcohol free life as the gift it is, not a deprivation.
Apart from posting here what else are you doing to stay sober? do you have any kind of action plan?
D