I have to say, after my mother passed things about my family dysfunction became much clearer. It took a few years for me to sort thru the "shattered" fantasy land I lived in. That's the only way to describe how it felt. Like none of it was real, just a charade of "perfectness" she created to hide the dysfunction.
This is the last, and only thing I never resolved in therapy. I truly don't know if I have the strength to do it. Have worked all my other issues, life changes etc.... But this. I guess I'm afraid it would kill me. Just to say it out loud