Big warm hug to you, sweetichick
I bring no judgement, only compassion and support. I understand panic attacks, as I have them as well. I'm sending you big hugs, if that is comforting to you. Whatever soothes you that is healthy, think of those things.
My little dog loves to burrow into the pile of warm towels I lay on the couch. EVERY time I do laundry, the moment they are hot out of the dryer, she's there, seeking out her cozy spot. I'm learning to seek out what is soothing to me, like my little dog does. It's hard for me to try to relax myself but I've found new ways: warm bath with Epsom salts, ocean wave music, listening to the fan blow, doing light stretching, and closing my eyes and imagining something that gives me joy. You deserve these things too.
Find your cozy spot to soothe you, sweetichick. I'll keep doing so, too!