I’ve been reflecting on the decades of drinking that led to my decision to make a Big Plan, as it is in AVRT and thereby stop, drinking, forever. Reading around SRs boards, I read folks who like me, desperately wanted to stop drinking. Because drinking went against their better judgement: day in, day out.
And I’m reflecting on what changed for me, what happened to put drinking behind me, forever, and please believe me, I know I will never drink again, no matter what.. And I realised that I saw, felt, subsumed, the fact that the part of me that wanted to drink, was ‘a part’ of me, but ‘not me’, it was simply the addicted part of my brain, it is not me.
When that ambivalence was recognised, then, and only then, was I able to recognise the addictions AV and thereby, separate from it. Once the separation took place, I could never drink again, no matter what, because if a ‘craving’ arose....it wasn’t me, (just an echo of my Beast/addiction/AVs Voice) because ‘I’ don’t want to and will never drink again.