MyLittleHorsie

That's the thing, we get it, you are not the only high earning alcoholic on this board. It absolutely affects everyone, from all walks of life.

There is a whole beautiful life out there, a beautiful sober life. Where the people we love, are no longer angry with us, where they heal as we heal.

I didn't hit a rock bottom, I hit a, "What is my life going to look like in 20 years if I keep this up". I am an incredibly vain person, loving myself is easy, because I am incredibly good looking (jesting a bit) I looked at women in their 50's women who did the same thing I did, hard drinking on the weekends, stressful jobs, those who don't have plastic faces, have horrible faces, leathered, some have lost teeth. I thought about my little girl, I thought about weddings and parties I have been to when a parent has a drinking problem and it is embarrassing and I thought, because my husband and I have lost friends and family to impaired drivers, what if some night she calls me for a ride, and I'm too drunk to go get her. What if she falls out of bed in the middle of the night and breaks her arm - do I call an ambulance and be drunk mom in the hospital. She has an anaphylactic allergy, what if she had an exposure and I was too out of my mind on wine to recognise the symptoms?

I spent 8 years with a high functioning alcoholic and I hated him by the time we were done. I won't put my husband through that, I love him too much and I will not hurt my kids. I only drank one kind of wine and I did most of my drinking at home, in my office, late at night. I could control it, one of my companies does large corporate events, I have never been to a work function drunk, I sure drank when I got home... What I couldn't control is once home, once in my office with that wine bottle, I was drinking it til it was done. I suffered through hangovers, through everything, because somewhere in my past, I was the great party girl, I settled down, married money and was the quintessential hostess. My current husband and I started from scratch in a one bedroom apartment 10 years ago, we are now where our wildest dreams could never have imagined. We have 3 great kids, (one from his previous marriage), a great house, brand new vehicles and a stable of very fine horses. I own two companies and a non-profit foundation, I am also an alcoholic. It does not discriminate, but it will destroy everything if you let it. You don't have to hit rock bottom, you just have to decide if you want to live or not. You might white knuckle a couple days, but you will get through - we all have.