Originally Posted by
CarrenBlackwell 
The key is listening not berating. Someone said I had an agenda. Yes I do. Offering options. I have been asked by him not to give up. He wants more and listens. If he didn’t want to hear what I bring to the table he would not reach out. It has been requested. How I do it is not always smart. It is one day at a time.
I listen to his concerns about the dynamics of the situation. I have no idea what tomorrow will bring. I believe there is always hope. I also don’t care what the family thinks about me. They own that. I am doing this all for him without expectations. In the meantime we enjoy each other’s company.
Regarding being an old fart. Sometimes we accept what is because that is all we know. I know I have done that. I suspect all of us have. However don’t accept something as is, if it isn’t right. That is what I bring to the table. That is what he did for me last year.
I thank you for your input. The serenity prayer says to me do what you can, but know when you don’t have a way to change something. Make sure you are smart enough to know the difference.
I agree, the key is listening, and not losing self just as you said. To be honest, I treated my husbands issues same as I would most other medical problems. Funny how we as family are not generally told to avoid helping family get treatment for heart issues or the like. The only twist with dealing with addiction that I have found is the way the substances affect the brain. How my husband would rationalize things in such a different way, illogical was sometimes logical to him. But oh. he thought he was just fine. But when I would listen without so much emotion then it was all easier. The therapist I saw helped me with that part fortunately.
You sound like your doing fine to me, and I think he is lucky to have someone so supportive. I hope he find what works for him in due time.