Mera dear- hang in there. I strongly agree with Dee's post in particular....and I'd add that when I feel like you describe about events/etc...taking it one day at a time til the event or til I must make a decision (ie if hosting like you) and refocusing on the decisions and things I must do- NOW. Not easy, but I try to practice this so I don't get overwhelmed, spiral, etc.
I know that I got a bit down just about this time last year, and did start taking a small dose of Paxil. I ended up having my best Christmas season ever (this year may top it though, since I got married a week ago!) - the apprehension seems to be something us alcoholics def get as a present at times
Take care of you- see you on here!