It is not my job to make him sober or to tell him NOT to drink. I have no control over that. However continuing the dialogue about what he wants out of life and how to get there is something I can do. It is done without expectations, only hope.
You say it NEVER works. Never is a all encompassing word. My first husband is an alcoholic. He has been in recovery for almost 30 years. If I didn't have the conversations, he would have never sought AA. So Never is not a true statement. I appreciate your sentiments and there is a lot of truth in it. I am seeing that I stepped out of bounds by trying to get the family involved. I appreciate that.
When I say I won't stop, it means I won't stop the conversations. I don't stop him drinking. I can't it is out of my control. I don't even berate him about it. I also don't provide alcohol. We talk about what he wants and how he can get it. Saying give up is the easy way out.
I also will not put myself in harms way. It has to be his choice and not mine. I can't force him. I know that. I can show him there is more to life than what has been provided to him and what is enabled by his family. The choice is his a Life, or what he has. When he decides I will accept it. That is his choice, his life.