Hi,
I have also been in your spot..many times. I was almost there this weekend! I was 3 weeks dry on Friday, and when Saturday afternoon came around my AV was whining, planning, arguing, and then screaming at me. I went to 4 different grocery stores, I kept adding food to my cart and walking by the booze isle...contemplating....thinking.....wanting to drink. I spent the entire afternoon grocery shopping, I kept going to different stores and kept going back to the booze isles, and adding more food to the cart. After store #4, I took my carload of groceries and went home. I logged into SR and read through some of the horrific Day 1's, and the bad memories came flooding back. I still wanted to drink, but there was no way I was going back to yet another store! Thank god some ice cream made it's way in the food cart. I was uncomfortable, but forced myself to stay put and stay sober.
I'm sorry you are facing this again, don't be ashamed. I was only 1 store away from relapsing as well. Try again, and again, and again.