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Old 12-05-2017, 09:57 PM
  # 7 (permalink)  
Berrybean
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Join Date: Apr 2014
Location: UK
Posts: 6,902
Hi. Sorry for what brings you here, but I'm so glad you found us. What a pickle!

I also would suggest AlAnon for yourself. Also our 'friends and family of alcoholics' area would be a useful place for you to read around. https://www.soberrecovery.com/forums...ly-alcoholics/

I'd say that yourbinstinctbis likely to be right. However, I was a hot mess for the first month or so. Washing-machine head like you wouldn't believe for a while when I thought I must be losing the plot, I felt so disorientated, tired and out-of-things (out of my normal I suppose, and exausted). Thing is, you say you've been through this with him before.

He's gonna do what he's gonna do. You didn't cause it. You can't control it. You can't cure it. You need to be responsible for your own happiness and security, and let him face the consequences of his choices. That can mean learning to make healthy boundaries initially. AlAnon could help with that, as could many of the folk over in the friends and family area who have been through what you're going through now. A boundary doesn't say what the other person should do. It says what you will do (for yourself) if x, y or z happens. And boundaries only work when we are willing so see them through consistently. That's hard sometimes.

Wishing you and your A all the best for your respective recoveries.

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