Glad you came here first LoveForMe. From the outside looking it, it's pretty obvious to me that you would not have come here if you had "given up" - you would have just started drinking. So even if you don't realize it there is definitely part of you that cares.
What is it you think you might gain by drinking? All it ever got me was more pain, more hangovers, more shame and pretty much more of everything i thought It would "fix:".
If there is something else in your life that is troubling you right now, drinking won't fix it either. Why not talk about it and see if there is a better solution?