Originally Posted by YCDT
See, I THINK I would be fine. I mean, you just dont order it, right? But, I dont know if I want to take the chance. How do you know when you are ready to give it a shot?
For me, I started going out to more places and with people other than my parents (I didn't start dating my now husband until about 5 mo sober) when I didn't get a gut clinch of discomfort at the thought.
Personally, I wasn't tempted to drink, I just didn't have the interest back or care about food like I did before and we do now, so I only did things I was comfortable with or had to do (meetings, work).
And, it can- will, IMO and IME- become habit to go out wherever and not drink; though I'll add that I have found I only spend time with friends who are normal drinkers and alcohol isn't always something they order.
I'll give you two perfect examples of how we live (he is in recovery, too):
We got married in private on Fri. After I got my hair then makeup done (at a fave place where they offer water and wine- no problem declining as I brought my own ginger ale), but before we dressed, we went to lunch at a favorite place. We had the sweetest server who remarked we were so pleasant - we told her we were getting married! After a bit, she brought two glasses of champagne- then she hesitated and asked if we drink - we smiled and said we did not, and she laughed a little and said "you know, I had that thought for some reason" - she proceeded to politely ask if we were in a program, then share that her mom is 25 years sober. It was a lovely little conversation - and to me, one of the ways you just never know who'll you will encounter and appreciate in sober life, when you will be aware of it!
The other example (and there were a couple others during our day then our stay in a gorgeous suite at a beautiful hotel) - came at dinner at an amazing steak place here. I normally inquire if a dish that usually has alcohol in it (it really does not "burn off" nearly as much as people think!!) but was just happy and relaxed and remembered how good their mushrooms are, and voila, they arrived and had a distinct amount of sherry tasted in one small bite! I do not eat food cooked with alcohol, so I passed and my husband enjoyed (he is less strict about this than I am) and it just wasn't a big deal. Our server apologized profusely because my husband had told them in advance that we didn't drink.
Final note: I am heading on 23 mo sober. All of this has been a process and a peacefulness in situations that has evolved. Last year, maybe around 8-9 mo, I freaked out when I realized I had eaten a delicious calamari dish at a friend's small dinner party - so much so that I called my sponsor in tears and left the party!
Acceptance and just developing new habits- I actually find perfect contentment drinking club soda and lime, and just had a mildly nostalgic moment with the champagne because it was one of my fave "24/7" (ha) bevs.
I hope you will start a sober journey and that you stick around here with us. You can do it.