Hi Press your doing well . This is not a preach but your post shouts out non acceptance of your addiction to alcohol . The feelings you feel are normal at first, the shame of "this is actually me?" in this facility please accept this is you ,embrace this acceptance because your alcoholism won,t just clear up and go . Once you fully accept you will feel better .
This is how it was with me anyway , I failed to accept and kept trying to drink normally but I crossed that line a long time ago and each time I drank after no matter how long sober I felt ill and miserable .