Sorry it has taken me so long to respond. I have been working a lot and then coming home to kids and chaos and haven't had a moment to myself. I appreciate everyone's comments and advice so much! I have told RAH that I would be hosting Christmas as planned, and if he needed to remove himself, that we would understand. He grumbled something like "Do whatever you want..." and I just left it at that. I agree that it's my #1 focus to keep things as normal as possible for our kids, especially during the holidays. Our family routine throughout the years have already been severely altered by his drinking, and now his not drinking. Keeping holiday plans intact seems like a no brainer. I thought about the option of not having people over, and having a quiet dinner with just us, for husband's sake, but honestly, I doubt he'd be happy with that either. So if he's going to sulk either way, I choose to do what makes the most sense, which is carry on as originally planned. And about Thanksgiving, he still says he's not coming, and I said that's fine, I would be taking the kids anyway, and will just tell people he wasn't feeling social and opted to stay at home. I hate being put in this position, speaking for him, and to HIS own family, but I'll do what I have to do. His mom is a master at enabling, and I'm sure she'll act like it's my fault he isn't there, and then she'll snap at me to make sure and bring him home a plate of food. But all of that aside, I want me and my kids to try to have a good holiday no matter what he chooses to do or not do. It's amazing how this disease, or whatever you want to call it, continues to rule everyone's lives even after the drink is gone. The mindset is still there. The only thing that has changed since he quit is that he's actually waking up for work on his own, and he is no longer yelling at me at 2:00am about cheating (with imaginary men.) Most of his other drunk traits, being mean, not helping me with the kids or household, being in a bad mood all the time, is all still the same. It's hard living in another state, and not having any of my family around for support, his family here supports HIM more than me, which is common I suppose. Thanks again for everyone's input, I really take it to heart and it makes me feel so much better being reminded that I am not alone in this!