Thank you GB for the verses - very much appreciated. I'm not a church going person but very much a believer. I have no doubt that it was He who kept me alive through 36 years, 4 months and 25 days that I was a drinker. He wants me here for some reason.
They also had this ritual where everyone there was given a pad of paper and pencil and you wrote down anything negative, bad, sad, regretful, shameful etc, that you felt happened to you or that perhaps you felt you had inflicted on others the previous year. Then you would throw that slip of paper in the fire, you could tell others what was on the paper if you wanted to, or not either way. It was declared a "safe" time, no judging, only support. The hope was that you would start out the new year with only positive power within you. Once the note was burned the negative was gone. It was very cathartic, some tears, lots of hugs, mentally exhausting, but the feeling afterward was incredible, so freeing.
badge I wish our whole class could get together and do this...I do think it would be cathartic.
I would sit down a couple days before NYE and write down all my wishes, hopes, dreams, etc for me, my siblings, my parents, my friends and seal it and wait until the following year to read. The times I did it, I was pretty surprised at how many things came to pass.
wax another good idea. I think I may meld these two together for NYE 2018. I thought this coming year was going to be my year. The number eight is my life number (if you believe in such things) and the two numbers of my age in the coming year add up to eight too. So I was thinking 2018 would be double magical. Now look what I've done to it before it even has opened its eyes.
I have to trod on though this mess though. Today I think I found a vehicle in the lot at work that has a camera and it is along the side in the middle of the drivers side windshield-highly visible.
I guess that's why they were clear down at the end of the parking lot beside me. It is what it is. Still praying about two things before the end of the year about work and name being in paper. Still waiting on court but more positive that will not be any more charges. If I can make it through that then I will be left with the classes and then just living my life til towards the end of next year. And then continuing what I've started in this terrible time of my life - sobriety.
I am going to put some serious thought into the NYE things - writing down and getting rid of my shame, guilt, etc may help. Also it sounds like it would be an interesting Christmas gift for next year to have something written down now of what I want for the future. I hope I will have grown as a person for sure and that maybe there will be a bit of space between who I am now and the person a year away. Thanks for writing that down you guys.
I'm waiting for the guy that is changing the oil and putting a sticker on the car to call. That's one more thing ticked off the list and hopefully one less person that may not have to find out.
I know I'm such a worrywort and cannot find a way to stop... I'm just hardwired that way. I'm so glad to have a place to let some of it out. Love to each and every one of you. I only hope that my stuff I am going through right now might keep someone reading from drinking and driving and finding their own kind of hell going thru the aftermath.