I am sorry to hear you are dealing with this. I agree with others...I would not refer to your husband as someone who is in recovery, as it does not sound like he is working on his spiritual/emotional issues.
Is the family you will be spending holidays with aware of the situation? Something that made it very difficult for me to detach when I was with my XAH was that nobody else knew what was going on. If we had a social event (such a my brother having a party), I would dread going alone because I wouldn't know what kind of excuse to make up for my husband not being there.
I would start reading as much as you can about detachment and start practicing it in your daily life. Do not let his actions and moods affect you and your children.