Originally Posted by
Canuckleman45 
Well I failed again this weekend. I've decided to maybe try an AA meeting. I've read online, and talked to a few people about it, and get mixed opinions. The only thing I know is I have to find something that works for me dammit! Want so much to be done with the booze. It doesn't taste good, or make me feel good at all. The next day I'm so riddled with guilt. I feel like I've cheated myself, my family, and all of you at SR that have sent support my way. There is no such thing in my life anymore as "well I can have just one drink" , as all you fine people know full well that that just doesn't exist. I was told by a doctor a few years ago that Im not an alcoholic, just a guy with a bad habit. I believed that theory for a long time. Its hard to look in the mirror and tell yourself that you are an ALCOHOLIC. I did that last night, and again this morning just to make sure I still believed it after drinking. My support system is wonderful. Wife, and 2 teenage boys that are very supportive.
Sorry for this early morning rambling. I didn't mean to go on and on.
It's definitely great to have a supportive family.... and your family will benefit greatly from your sobriety.
What you can expect at an AA meeting is to find support and experience, people - like you - who have struggled with alcohol and finally made the choice to embrace sobriety and live a life of gratitude, presence and abundance.
You can expect to feel a little fearful, a little uncomfortable, a little uncertain.
You can expect your alcohol-addicted mind to whisper things:
"you're not like them"
"this isn't for you"
"The GOD thing..."
"But I can't do this"
"I'm not as bad as them"
"what are you DOING here?"
But if you go with an open mind, if you go with the sincere and honest purpose of seeing WHAT IT CAN OFFER YOU to support your healing and living a joyful life.... then you can expect also to find:
Hope
A powerful tool in support of your sobriety
A community
A group of caring human beings, there to help and support one another
An experience that will touch you deeply
A subtle (or perhaps an intense) recognition that you've found something deeply important to you
THE BEGINNING OF A BEAUTIFUL LIFE!!!!
