Hi, Dragonfly, and welcome to SR. I'm going to suggest that you do some reading (and perhaps post, if you feel so inclined) over in the "Family and Friends" section of the forum. I think you may find a number of threads that will resonate w/you, as the folks there have either already been where you are or are there right now, next to you. Here's a link:
https://www.soberrecovery.com/forums...ly-alcoholics/