Thank you everyone. Thank you Glimer for clearly spelling out what I can say to them, it is perfect. It will make me feel quite nervous and upset but it must be done. Yesterday after they brought this big book I realised just how far I had let it go.
I just have such a hard time doing something that I feel might hurt someone else's feelings. This is what my doctor called the god-complex. I also just am, for better or worse, a nice person and it makes me happy to be nice. But I'm not so nice I'm going to join a religion- particularly one of which I disagree with several of the basic tenants.
I do sometimes not respond when they come. I have a fence around my yard and a gate in order to enter, they ring there at the gate. The problem is when I am outside and they catch me.
I'll say something, I will. I saved the book they gave me instead of throwing it away, so next time they come I will get the book and take it out to them and explain my position.
And yes, I am very curious about all spiritual beliefs, I find it to be something beautiful. I have never had some overwhelming experience or belief myself, but when I see others exhibiting this I am deeply moved by the intensity of their experience. I remember being on holiday in Morocco and hearing the call for prayer come out over the town loudspeakers and watching the waitstaff in a restaurant stop everything and get down on their knees to pray, it was one of the most powerful things I have ever witnessed. In any case, I don't personally share in that belief but I can understand why others would. I like to be a decently informed member of society so I have done basic research on all major religions just to be informed and educated, but nothing really called out to me and made me want to research more.
All of the above said I do pray and do believe that there is a power greater than myself at work. And I believed this prior to getting started with AA. I often see miracles all around me and just know that I am not in charge.
But all that is getting more into a religious discussion (sorry heaven!) and not about the "saying no" issue that was my original concern. So I will leave it at that.
Have a nice Sunday everyone, a day of the week important in many major religions
