I work for a consultant surgeon. I am regularly booking people in who have fractured their noses for a procedure we call an "MNB" - that's a "manipulation nasal bones".
I swear on my life, the next person who tells me that I have gained weight will get a punch by me, and I will be booking them in for the above procedure.
I have put on some pounds. It happens. And it's okay. I know this already and I have resolved to do something about it.
(Although I did mention it to a friend of mine who looked at me up and down and said 'well to be fair, you still look fine to me. You still look about average, or even less than average".) Having spent the weekend with my parents, my mother does not have quite the same opinion. All I got this weekend was "what are you eating? Don't tell me more cheese?" I was so annoyed that I started reading a recipe out loud from a newspaper for Baked Camembert and said 'wouldn't this be nice to have over Christmas?"
I am trying to be patient here. I came home with a gift for my mother - a new book I had bought and read and I thought she would enjoy it too. She has been complaining that she has not been feeling well for a few weeks now and my dad has been telling her to go to see a G.P. In fairness she has problems and she is struggling now that my sister has returned to live with her loser ex-husband. But we told her she should go to a doctor and she said "no I know that GP. I don't want to have to tell them all my problems and we will be the talk of the town". There is like a billion GPs on that street, and around the corner. The whole area is just full of doctors, dentists and solicitors. I suggested another one and she was like "no they are too young. I don't want to go to a young doctor".
I do feel sorry for her, really I do but I am beginning to lose patience. She is well able to get her little digs in at me anyway. That is why my parents are now in bed and I am smoking near an open window. (And yes its not something I do regularly and I know I have to quit entirely as my consultant is constantly telling patients that "I have strongly advised this patient to stop smoking as s/he essentially wants to get cancer by continuing to smoke".
Ok so that is my rant over and I can breathe again.