Alcoholism recks havoc on every facet of ones life. It’s truly a disease and not one that can be cured with breathlizers, finding every last secretly stashed bottle, and demanding change.
An alcohol will find a way to drink if they want to drink. Any attempt you make to control his actions will simple end with you losing your sanity and being disappointed.
As someone with use to be with an alcoholic I feel your anguish. It’s hard to watch someone you love, not love themselves. We trick our selves into thinking that their sobriety is our “Golden ticket” to making the relationship what it should be. The reality is far more muddled. They struggle with self worth, coping when the one thing they cope with now not being an option, and someone that likely doesn’t even remember the person they were prior to the addiction. They are trying to find themselves again. Also when sobriety is on the table it brings to the surface the issues that were ignored during the addiction which required all the focus.
Alcohol while a large part of the issues in the relationship likely is far from the only issue. It’s vulnerable in every direction. You have to focus on yourself and hope he does the same.