Newbie to this...
Hello,
My husband is an alcoholic. He quit drinking on the 12th of November. He attended a meeting for the first time "willingly" on November 13th. He's been to AA before; due to his 5th OWI back in 2006. We have been married for 18 years. I have been begging and pleading with him for years to pay attention to our marriage and to me. I finally talked him into going back to marriage counseling about a month ago - yes we have been before and now that I look back on it, it was always when his drinking was out of control again. This is our third time down the marriage counseling road. Counselor got right to it and challenged "us" to quit drinking for a month - we went back to see him two weeks after that challenge and my husband said that he had not had a drink. . . lie. After that second meeting we discussed trust, and forgiveness. Mind you my husband didn't (and maybe still doesn't) believe that our marriage challenges revolve around his addiction. So he agreed that he needed to work on getting me to trust him again, and I needed to work on forgiveness. Well, I felt SO good when we left that session, we went home and made dinner together and then he disappeared all of a sudden. I went downstairs and found him in the garage - where he was using and then looked me right in the eye and lied to me about it while the evidence was right there. I feel so stupid most of the time; as I don't understand how he can think that I am so stupid as to not see what is going on.
I told him before we went back to counseling that I am at the end of my rope and was considering divorce. That didn't make him stop drinking and lying to me. It wasn't until I finally found a time when he was sober (which was November 12th); that he finally figured out I was serious and ready to take action on divorce. Then all of a sudden he is going to AA meetings and has AA contacts, etcetera.
Why am I more scared at this point than ever? I got home last night and told him that I wanted a divorce; to which, of course, he said but he's not drinking now, etcetera.
I am SO torn up right now I just don't know which way to turn. So I turned to this website.