beachshells

Cheers...with a glass of water...to a new start. Believe me, I am scared and intimidated and not feeling a lot of trust from myself. This drinking thing is not my worst enemy...I am. I allow myself to reason that just one more night, one more bottle and it goes on and on. Now I have elevated liver enzymes and pain that indicate disease and I know I must stop tho I don't want to. This is the only forum ( have been following it for weeks) that I feel can be helpful to me. I have a high profile career and don't want the shame to be public. It is hard enough to face family who have never drank and do not know...they just don't know how it feels to be addicted and so it should be so easy and what the H is my problem? So judging and acting like I have no struggles at all in life and so I am just being lazy and drinking my health away because I don't take anything seriously. I have my demons, my hellish days, my family problems, my work problems and I chose a horrible partner to share those with. A bottle. Now I find myself kind of stuck and it is going to take extreme fortitude to get unstuck. Wish me luck getting unstuck. Any new habits that would be healthy and stories shared would be appreciated. Much love!