Hi Old Writer. Welcome to SR. Thanks for sharing your story. It's not too much different from many of ours. While none of us can diagnose you, I can assure you that the chances for you to stick around long enough to enjoy your grandchildren is to give up the booze for good. And you will soon find some amazing little side benefits that go with it, like freedom and pride and a healthier life and probably a better relationship with those that are closest to you. Good luck! Today is the best day to get started!