Giant hugs to you.
Although it won't seem like it now, this is probably for the best. You deserve to be happy and with someone healthy! That won't happen immediately but every second away from him is a second closer to everything you deserve.
Take care of you and yours. Start with eating a little something. Lean on all of your support in life and certainly here.
Make a plan, write things down, pack up his crap. Cry. Take a walk. Just take care of you. The progress will help ease the pain.
Take gentle care of yourself!
Jules