Update
Since my last post, I've cut cold turkey and stayed clean and is planning to stay clean. I've occupied myself introvertedly playing games for the past two months, as I'm not motivated enough to find income after multiple dead end attempts. Looking back, I saw myself constantly trying to keep my runny nose in check and jittering around with the most obvious snappy reactions with a mouth that wouldn't shut up. The thoughts that ran thru my head felt like i had some next level consciousness. Despite all that I lost during my addiction, it has been very insightful to how I should lay my future path to be. The thought of using still comes around but I've always refrained myself from doing anything stupid. I've cut off all my friends that were around narcotics and marijuana. Now despising drugs, I destroyed my medical marijuana card, as being under the influence of anything doesn't appeal to me as it used to.
Next off the list will be nicotine, I've been vaping for years as a healthier alternative but I've grown to now dislike everything that's snags me after my experience. I also need to motivate myself to stop being as lazy as I currently am.
I'll update this as I go, again, appreciate the insight guys.
It's nice to be free