Originally Posted by
JScatt 
Hey everyone! I don't post much but I do read here everyday, still sober since mid May and a lot has to do with this great place.
Anyway, as I read everyday I see a few members who seem to relapse like once a week and each time its for the same reason, same trigger, same excuse and each time they are given great advice by long time sober folks.
Seems each time this advice is ignored and the person is back seeking advice on how to quit, same advice is given again, ignored again then the person is back again asking for advice on how to quit....YET AGAIN!
I've noticed this with some who have been members for years.
I guess my question is...How the heck are some of you guys so patient, when do you (if ever) just say "screw it, do what ya wanna do" especially when you are just repeating the same advice over and over and over?
I think that there is a danger in trying to separate oneself from the chronic relapser. If you can say "screw it, do what ya wanna do" then you are saying you are in a superior position to the chronic relapser--which is the more direct way to relapse yourself.
I think everyone needs to take time off from helping--there is such a thing as compassion fatigue. But the moment we start looking down on other addicts is the moment our addiction regains strength.
I have often had to remove myself from here because of behavior that I see here. But when I am here, I try to be fully here.
Recovery is often like a puzzle. I was a chronic relapser because I kept following the same advice I got over and over even though it did not work. Eventually, I found what I needed to do...and I hope others in the same recovery-relapse cycle will also solve their puzzle.
But yes, it is hard not to just say "screw it." But doing that damages my own recovery.