Old 11-10-2017, 01:35 PM
  # 1 (permalink)  
subwife
Member
 
Join Date: Nov 2017
Posts: 3
New here: Signed up to ask about Husband's Suboxone use

Hi everyone. I want to ask someone experienced with Suboxone about the path that long term addiction to this drug takes. My husband crushes/snorts & no prescription. Even though I know he feels great shame about his usage, he mostly lives in denial, will not seek professional help, and gets upset if I want to talk about it. Makes promises that he forgets/disregards right away (like to not crush up the ******* pills at your desk where the residue could get on something and somehow our daughter could ingest it & to not do it anywhere where she could possibly see/hear you). He doesn't respect these boundaries.

He has one big excuse for continuing to use, which actually does seem legit to me (not sure if this is enabling rationalization or not...): he is an accomplished professional and has sacrificed a lot of time & money for his career. He says that getting off the drugs will endanger his chances to make the long-term professional achievements he's been working for, for so long (cannot take a few weeks off to detox/cannot risk being found out as a drug addict/cannot function at same level w/o the drugs).

He is often a very inattentive and lazy husband (and father to our almost-5 yo). He is very irritable, and can be selfish/narcissistic. That said, I do know he genuinely loves us, he would never cheat, and I do think we are a good match in many ways. It would also break my heart to have our daughter grow up w/o both of us present.

Every forum I read says to "get out and get out now" re: addicts. Please give me the rationalizations re: why I need to leave. It is true that he is irritable and has a hard time handling stress but I think a lot of people in his career (& health status - he does have legitimate pain) would? I don't know how much of this is the drug and how much of it is his normal temperament. I do know he's always been a "difficult" person. I can handle this but I can't handle it getting worse. He has been using for 4.5 years. He is also passionately insisting we have another baby, which I was on board with the last couple of months and didn't get pregnant. Now I'm thinking that may have been a blessing and I'm freaking out about bringing another child into the world with him as a father.

What do you think are the typical scenarios this would play out as should I choose to stay? Oh, he also claims that if I have another baby he'll use his paternity leave to detox (on his own of course). I know. Wtf.

I just want a healthy husband and father to our child(ren).
Thanks for reading, I know that was long.
subwife is offline