Wildflower, you can do this. It is always our thinking that creates the fear, and then when we actually do the things we feared, we find out aren't bad at all! Its such a relief to finally admit defeat IMO. It is your pride that wont, because you have spun lies about your addiction, and your addiction wants you to keep on drinking. But I can guarantee, the people around you know about your drinking...
I too thought I could never get better, or live a life without booze. Life without booze, is much, much better. You just cant see that from where you are.... YET. Have faith, trust the process, you are much stronger than you know give yourself credit for.
Its a humbling thing to ask for help, we all need to do it. We all need help sometimes, take it.