When I was getting my haircut last week I was looking at my self in the mirror thinking my face is not all puffed up and red , I am not sweating , the whites of my eyes aren't bloodshot . I thought what a difference from 3 months ago how it,s great to be a non drinker . when I came out I saw 2 chaps going into one of the pubs and thought "I,m glad that's not me .
I seem to be going through a stage of constantly thinking thoughts around not drinking I don't drink,i don't drink , I wonder how bad that guy is ? is he only having 2 beers !! even in the supermarket I start the anti drinking thinking when i,m near the drink isles .
Sometimes I think I am thinking too much about not drinking , in fact it's became almost an obsession which I don't think is healthy .
Idealy I want to be in a place where I am not obsessing about not drinking .
Normal drinkers don't think about alcohol . I know I am not and never will be a normal drinker but also I don't want to be ruminating over not drinking all the time as I think this all this does is keeps me in a guarded anxious state .
Maybe this is a phase , part of the healing process !