Hello and welcome to you, I am really glad you found us. It sounds like you are deep in your addictions and really need to get out. It truly is possible but you need to be willing to make some major changes to your life and do things that make you uncomfortable. It is not always an easy or happy process to quit alcohol and drugs, but in the end it is worth it.
From what you describe you are very much risking your life and I would encourage you to stop focussing on what you cannot do and start focussing on what you can do. May people here (I was one of them) start out saying "I can't do rehab, I can't do AA, I an't do this that or the other" We are talking about your life here. Your life. If your initial efforts are not successful (and I dearly hope they are for you!) I do hope you will then consider other options, you have to be willing to make every effort.
For now, focus on what you CAN do:
You mentioned online meetings, that is great!
Get an online sponsor
Check in here to SR regularly
meditation
Rid your house of all alcohol and drugs
Speak to your doctor about your need to quit both alcohol and drugs
Ask your doctor to discontinue your prescription for opioids
Exercise
Eat healthy
What else can you add to this list?
We are all here for you, reach out anytime1