Need help overcoming some emotions
Hi,
I'm new to this community and just figuring out how to use this. A little background information. I was addicted to heroin, had my kids taken away from me. I went to treatment, got my life on track. I am currently 5 years clean. I have my kids back.
Tonight I was going through my mess of paperwork. I came across my packet from health and human services detailing why my kids got taken away. It also had all the stuff I did while working with CPS. It was very detailed on my drug abuse and how I would not see my kids. When I did see my kids I was high. After reading it, I'm a mess. I love my kids so much, I feel so disgusted that I even put them through what I did. I was so selfish. I have feelings of guilt, regret, and shame. I'm having a hard time stopping crying. I feel like I don't deserve the love from my kids. One day they will know all of this. I have a fear they may hate me for it. I'm just looking for some advice on how to deal this.
Thanks so much.