Hi Tobrien, I am a person that also rarely cries, but I just did. I have a daughter around your age and your story just kind of hit me with a feeling yes I am lucky my daughter has found her well in life, but also a feeling of what if, and an overwhelming sadness for you. Then I felt better because you are seeking help ON YOUR OWN. You want to stop and you are going too!! You are young and can do it T. One day, one hour, one minute, fight it. You know it's not going to be easy, but it is a fight for your life so treat as such. Everyone on here knows what you are feeling as many have been there and everyone one of us are cheering for you! You are already and will be in my prayers.