I am 'powerless over alcohol'.
But I am not powerless over alcohol.
It's a strange paradox, I know. I seem to contradict myself. It's true though.
If I allow alcohol into my life, the evidence of my personal experience is that sooner or later it becomes a power that infuses my life and impacts it negatively - from finances to legal trouble to relationship troubles to the simple things like basic presence in my own life. I can manage on any given occasion to 'just have a couple'. I can even manage for weeks or months to make things seem as though there's absolutely no problem. Even during those times, though, an honest reflection on my inner and outer experience will reveal that there is impact. And at times - at the worst of times - I wind up in jail, endangering lives, totally checked out of my own reality. Out of control and utterly powerless to choose whether to drink or not in the moment. The alcohol owns me.
But if I don't allow alcohol into my life - I'm not powerless. I'm not a victim to alcohol. I have CHOICE. I have personal presence and consciousness and can guide my thoughts, awareness and decision-making away from alcohol consistently because I see and understand and internalize the things it will rob from me.
I have said many times "I am powerless over alcohol and my life has become unmanageable". The evidence of that statement's truth throughout my life is ample.
I have also said, as many times, "I have the power of choice and I CHOOSE sobriety, because I value my life and I will not let alcohol take that from me".
Powerlessness does not mean you are powerless.
