Brand new here and I think I'm going rehab (!)
Well...I woke up this morning to another nasty hangover, the third or fourth this week actually. I had said that I was taking a month off drinking after saturday night, and then tuesday rolls around, I spend the whole day deeply depressed and then spend the early evening fantasizing about all the Halloween fun that's being had without me. I felt sorry for myself, having to stay home while my friends all get to be out wearing sexy costumes and having cocktails and fun. So of course I went out. I don't drink at home, or around my children. Instead, I go get drinks with my friends a few times a week. The problem is, if I have one drink, I have 5. And if I have one drink, I want coke. So I get some and I'm up till wee hours of the morning, then wake up hating myself and wanting to be anyone else but me. I feel like I'm living a double life, but I'm not very good at it since half my days now are spend recovering on the couch while my teenagers roll their eyes at me for being lazy. I am functional, and you probably wouldn't know I had a problem unless you got really close to my life, but I can't live like this anymore. So I decided this morning that it's time to make a big move here. Talked to my husband, called around and found a program that will treat my (currently unmedicated) bipolar disorder and the substance abuse at the same time, and then spoke to the kids when they got home. I feel hopeful and petrified at the thought of being gone for 3-4 weeks, but my hubby and kids are super supportive, and I want this to change for their sake even more than mine. I've never done anything like this though! Figured this site could be helpful.