It's an irrational disease.
Drinking may help you escape the thoughts, but it doesn't change anything for the better. It may change it for the worse...this time, or next time, but at done point it will make it worse. For certain.
There is no around the things we drink over. Only through them to the other side. I like what was said about choosing your hard...you want to surmount a smaller heap or create a daunting mountain?
As someone else pointed out, you're at home. Could be in a cell.
Assault? Not so hot...but glass half full...you didn't mow someone down while driving.
I found spinning things into positives helped tremendously. I became grateful. I became teachable. I became committed and I became peaceful by changing my perspective and following through with a challenge for a change. And that gave me back my self worth. Priceless.
GL. You can do this!
Jules