Welcome, Angela! I'm so glad you found us & decided to post.
The feelings you're having are very common - I was all over the place in the early days. I had to learn to live again in a whole new way. Resentment was part of it too - I was angry that I had to admit I could never control the amounts I drank. You mention being tired - I was exhausted - it's a big adjustment. Everything got better & easier - I grew to love my new sober life - no more being numb & foggy. No more reckless behavior.
It's good you're seeing the dangers of continuing the way you were. I wish I had at a much younger age. I hope you'll stay with us - we understand like no one else can.