Introduction
Hello all. If this isn't in the right place, please forgive me and let me know where it should be. I wanted to introduce myself and I'll try to make this as brief and to the point as possible. I'm 44 and am the son of a now-deceased non-functional alcoholic mother, who was herself a daughter of an alcoholic. I have been an alcoholic for over 20 years. I became largely non-functional after my divorce 6 years ago. I have lost my last 3 jobs because I chose drinking and during those times have been in inpatient behavioral health units 4 different times due to suicidal thoughts (and weak attempts) again due to drinking and the resulting dark places it takes me. I am estranged from my daughter because of this also. I was diagnosed with Bipolar Type II about 9 months ago and have been unemployed for almost a year (through counseling it became apparent that I was self-medicating in an effort to equalize my mood). After several med changes I feel more mentally stable but continue to relapse hard after every approximately 2-4 weeks of sobriety. I live alone and my trigger is loneliness particularly following a visit from my long-time distant relationship girlfriend. I run away from the loneliness and completely isolate from everyone and everything and drink every day for 1-2 weeks, consuming at least a 12-pack of beer. She supports me in every way possible and is a wonderful woman but still I relapse. I have a strong support system with people from church but I don't use them when I should. I'm hoping to use this forum as an additional support system because I don't want to continue on like this. I was here years ago but didn't keep up with it. I've got to change and want it more than ever. Thanks for reading.