One other factor here press is your kids
Doing this to yourself is a choice, but they don't have a choice to get a sober dad unless you give that to them.
I grew up with an alcoholic mother who avoided pain by drinking.
This had a huge negative impact on me, and modeled drinking as a method to deal with life.
I must say this has not served me well as an adult.
As her alcoholism progressed, as it will in all of us, it got very bad.
Please remember what you do impacts them for better or worse as well. . .