You’re right. They are my own words. And I look at them, and see the decline of a person, her. Honestly, rather quickly too only heavy over the past year. I know there is nothing I can do, and don’t expect my involvement to change that, per se. I am the one living this and not forgetting a single memory. This is my dilemma. It’s a whirlwind of good and then bad. The more recent traits and behavior have never been displayed to anyone, and this is all new to see this unfold for everyone involved. The traits of drinking were starting to pop up long before me...but I didn’t see it for years because things were good, and she didn’t drink all the time. This “popping off” of crazy in rehab is so new and different, and it’s hard to say if she was acting as a dry drunk, or just plain thinking unclear/hazy. Now she hasn’t drank for a few days, and I don’t know if she plans for a real attempt at recovery. Or if she plans to involve me in anyway. Or if she is trying to get back with the guy. I am doing my thing...I am having fun with the dog today, but it still racks my mind very frequently. I am trying to avoid circular thinking, but this is why I ask if I should/should not get involved?
Im already in an emotional stew and can’t imagine I could be hurt more. So what is the risk? I’m not asking her to move back and just continue. I just want to share kindness and hope it could bring her to a pleasant place...to straighten her thoughts. But do you think it would only make things worse for her? Like I said, I don’t want to hurt her. I just wish I could bring back some positivity to a depressed mixed up person.