rainyengland

Hi

As my sobriety journey continues I’m really just now realising some of my issues which led me down the path

While I feel loads better ,healthy and more calm one thing I’m not so good is confidence in myself

I guess it’s always been there , never felt I was good enough nor have the confidence to stand up to people when I’m obviously been walked over

Close friends and family I’m fine with and come across as mister confident but reality is I generally lie about things to come across as that person I’m not - very sad I know

It’s in my working life much more - I do have a stressful job which is fine but find for example the boss (business partner really as we both are owners) just tramples over me and does what he feels - I never say anything and just crumble and cower away - just to keep peace and avoid confrontation

This sort of thing bothers me a lot - my mechanism of dealing with it in past was alcohol but obviously that’s not on table any more

As I’m writing this I also realise I cannot say no to people - fear of upsetting them and not been liked I guess

I have lost sleep all this weekend worrying about my business partner and how he treats me and in bed I’m telling myself no I will just call him Monday morning and tell him what I think - this morning as usual I’m collapsing and don’t want any aggravation etc

I guess confidence issue / low self asteem is common for alcoholics ?

This must be big for me as this is longest post I have ever put on here !

Any thoughts would be truly welcome

Thank you SR